A thousand batches of beer. That is a lot of beer. I don’t mind admitting I haven’t made that much beer.
But Slipstream have reached this milestone, and they decided to celebrate by brewing a IIIIPA as their thousandth batch. In the theme of celebration, I’m picturing a glamorous awards night. Come on the journey with me.
The guest of honour steps out of a limousine and onto the red carpet. Batch #1000 is wearing a satin dress the colour of nectarine flesh. Everything is smooth and flowing. The dress (by world famous designer, Well-Layered Malts) is wrinkle-free. The hair (styled by Chinook) is immaculate. The perfect makeup (sponsored by Mosaic and Simcoe) brings a natural, stonefruity blush. An effortless smile, photogenic twinkle of the eyes, a swirl and a pose and hundreds of photographers wanting this shot for the cover of their magazine.
Then the festivities begin, and things start to get a little loose. The laughter gets raucous. The fruit-embossed shawl is flung over a chair. The hair has come out of its bun, and is dishevelled and dank; you can hear Chinook’s voice over the din. The night is louder than anyone expected. This is turning out to be a fun night.
By the time the after party begins, the fruity shawl is back, and by this point it’s had plenty of booze spilled on it. Everyone is drinking schnapps. Perhaps the only thing stopping someone from smashing up the hotel room is the personal assistant named Talus who’s been keeping everyone rounded rather than riotous.
When the sun begins to rise*, everyone’s sobering up. Someone orders fresh bread from room service and everyone gets on it. Batch #1000 is ready to face the day… and maybe do it all again tonight.
*I did not party all night with this beer. I drank it last thing at night - which is almost objectively the correct time to drink a beer containing 3.6 standard drinks - on a Tuesday evening, and I slept like a baby.
- Quadruple IPA
- 100 IBU